conversations about the “M” word ….

Posted by on Jul 6, 2011 in Mission: Get Inspired | 4 comments

conversations about the “M” word ….

conversations about the “M” word – is relentless love attainable on this Earth?

My back is starting to peel a bit, but my tan from Cabo is still going strong.  That trip was so amazing.  To see my best friend, marry her best friend, really got my heart and head stirring. And even today…a week of being home, I can not stop trying to understand what happened to my heart while I was there.

Jason & Jessica Cartee, Cabo San Lucas Mexico, Banks Photography,


To be single for so long, and be at this age, and to go thru the awkward relationships I have had in the past (me being the awkward piece) I have concluded for the last few years that the M word, “Marriage” really might not be for me… Don’t get me wrong, its not that it wasn’t a desire, the whole idea of what I wanted from a marriage, or the picture of what I wanted, just seemed about as real to attain as a goal of becoming a lottery winner of 40 trillion dollars…

unreal, untouchable, maybe..undeserving…


But as I allowed the beauty of Cabo, the passion that they, jess & jason exude, and a well spent morning on beach with the Lord, I felt some walls come down as God spoke Truth into my heart, as I became vulnerable to Him, so small, near that huge ocean.


While I sat there in a stillness, with powerful waves crashing all around me and worship music pouring from my ears to heart… I heard the Lord speak to me about:  opportunity, relentless love and fear.

It would take a long time to articulate what really went on in the conversation…so I will give you the short story. He said my idea of Marriage, is the worlds idea.  I had to let it go.  I am fearful of failing a Marriage because of my worldly desires of what I want in a relationship.  God, our Father,  wants to give you and I, a relentless love on this Earth, in this life and thru Him… but we have to let go of the lies of fear, and/or ongoings of the world to be able to be open to the opportunity. So He asked me, “where is your heart?” “how are open are you to relentlessly loving others” “If I sent a man to find you, would he find you in Me?” “If you took My idea of a perfect man for you…what would that look like?”

Lots to choke down, lots of brokenness to go through…but, along with my hot looking Cabo tan…I also came home with new perspective and a Truth seeking revelation about pure desires.

The point to all of this Marriage babble and Cabo parallel is that I really do desire a relationship.  One that would lead to an entire lifetime of commitment (whew, that is still hard to “say” outloud)  But it is true.  Its that my perspective about the idea of Marriage must line up scripturaly — not the worlds concept of “forever” So how do I step forward into this new reality? Move from shut down, uninterested, —– Into this new desire— a new territory of “open to a maybe someday, opportunity?”


Just continue to pray through it…like I do anything else.. with the direction of.. “God make me small…teach me how to love…be my only priority…so when you do send him…my feet are so rooted in Your Truth, that this man could never complete me, because You, God, already do….”

While digging around, searching for content about God’s Relentless Love, I found this cute little blog at It’s a random couples blog where they write “about  -Candace and Ryan as we start our lives together pursuing God’s love in us as we relentlessly pursue our love for each other”  It was just so moving to see a relationship typed out…a real one, like the one I would want..that is rooted in Christ the way God has revealed to me of my desires.  Ryan, speaking about Love and his relationship with his new wife, articulates my desire, through his interpretation, so clearly….. ”

“To love someone well is to point them to our ultimate first Love, which is God. We exist in each others lives to point out God’s priority in one anothers lives and to hold each other accountable to it. That’s the meat and potatoes of what it means to be a partner in life. The rest is joyous, blissful, inexplicable, glorious gravy.”

As I process this vision.  I can take the general, blurry image of what I thought I would want.. “A Christ centered man”  and expand that ideal to its most clearest measures…

How strong is he to hold me accountable to Him?

Does his life scream & exemplify “Jesus is my only first love, and my 1 true priority?”

If it does… I think my eyes will be blown away with this idea of opportunity, I will not be closed off infinitely and that this desire may someday come to fruition when I get out of the way :)

So friends, whether you are in the same gravy boat as I, or are already committed to the “M” word, there is still time for you to root yourself in and stand firm in Christ to create something more awesome than you can imagine.

If you are married or seeking, (or like me, unsure of either title), and would like to dive in a little deeper, Ryan also writes and expands upon the concept of being “Completed in Christ” and not trying to be completed or be the person trying  to ultimately satisfy the other….

“The biggest danger in a human relationship is falling into the temptation to be the ultimate sense of satisfaction for the person you are in relationship with. It’s most clearly experienced in a romantic relationship and it happens on multiple levels (searching, dating, marriage). But is the goal of being your significant other’s greatest joy of satisfaction really a healthy thing? Or is it potentially destructive?”


I encourage you to read the rest of his short, but powerful post here—>> Relentless Love Blog




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  1. Beautiful picture Miss! His love will cast out all fear. Trust!

  2. Great piece. For those of us who are afraid to ‘end up with the wrong person’ or make ‘the worst decision of a lifetime in a lifetime’ we have that cautious platform to build on. For me that has pushed me to seek God more who she is without necessarily meeting her in person. Since he was the author of the idea, he should have the manual for my own ‘prototype help meet’. Once He’s revealed that to me, I keep making sure that He is my all in all without substituting His ‘Alpha and Omega’ position in my life with anything or anyone else. So I’m learning to understand and dwell in His complete matchless companionship and love which I think that is so key and I like the Relentless love blog for addressing that.

    Ultimate love starts from Him and ends with Him. Everything in between is sub-par.

  3. so well said Kenny! That fear is real isn’t it! I think the action of dredging through it stopped for me— I was brought to a “giving up ” for complacency and defeat–to lie in the fear– I had let my fears of “wrong person” “wrong decision” supersede my efforts to rely and Trust in Him to fulfill the initial desires.

    You said it perfectly “So I’m learning to understand and dwell in His complete matchless companionship and love which I think that is so key”

    I am so happy to NOT be standing in the shadows of my fears, watering down my desire because I didn’t think I would ever attain it…

    Its amazing what a little revelation and introspective time can do for your inertia and forward moving :) Thanks so much for sharing and commenting!

  4. Thank you for being you and more of an inspiration than you can imagine.