Day 1. Cold turkey and tears.

Posted by on Sep 1, 2010 in Mission: Get Inspired | 0 comments

(this was auto-posted to twitter and facebook via su.pr plugin for wordpress)

I feel like I am quitting smoking or something.

Cold turkey. Just like that.

Cutting something out of my life that I relied on.

Relied on it for entertainment, connecting, pass time, fulfillment, outreach, busyness and procrastinating.

And today. Nothing.

I almost felt lonely.  bored.  anxious.

No shakes though ha! And no food cravings!

Quitting Facebook affects my routines.

(Missed why I quit facebook?  Click Here for the full story)

I woke up.  and fought back the routine to login to facebook & twitter.

Shower. breakfast. no coffee and facebook.

and opened my computer– logged into the Prayer Room to stream from IHOP instead of logging in.

I feel stronger.

Starting my day.

Hmm.

I feel crappy.

Allergies.

Puffy eyes.

Head in the clouds.

Ugh.

I feel a bit weak.

Time to drive 3ish hours.

Music selection?

The lollapalooza 2010 channel on slacker?

sure. why not.

While driving I fought back urge after urge to log on to facebook and read updates.

I was ashamed of how much I relied on it to pass the time while driving.

I found myself thinking of status updates in my head.

Witty things to share with others.  Moving lyrics that played over the radio.

Ahh! I am lusting still.  Running away. Hiding.

The enemy is trying to break in and tempt me. I know it.

So, I refused the distraction.

Plugged in the loudest, moving worship music I could find and sang out to God.

I must have looked crazy.

But I didnt care.

The more I drew near to place of pure worship-not just singing along-not just repeating some lyrics– but my heart crying out in worship—

I felt the enemy slip out of my car and the peace of the Holy Spirit fill my skecher-mobile.

A song changed.

I can not really remember the lyrics, something like “turning my heart back to you God…change me, fill me set me free”  God gave me a vision of one of my family members and His desire for them to turn to Him.  I saw this family member go from held back, pent-up, locked up, broken-hearted, ashamed, lost, sad— and physically turned their body into repentance and with arms held high– receiving the fullness of Gods love.  I saw them physically, spiritually and literally turn thier heart to God.

I began to weep.  I couldnt see to drive.

I felt His desire so strongly that I could think it is was my own.

I cried out to the heavens and began praying for God to open their eyes and open their heart and bring down the walls. Binding the enemy from having a hold on their life anymore.  For God to break in and break their heart and save them from Hell and the bondage they are drowning in.

I cried and prayed and sang and shouted.

I must have really looked crazy now.

But I wasnt thinking about that.

I was thinking this is how it is supposed to be.  Contending for our loved ones.  For the lost.  Fighting the Invisible War one prayer at a time.

And now that I am winding down the evening.

Digesting my meal and day.

I feel happy that I am still leaking tears.

This is what being human feels like.

This is what being alive in Christ feels like.

I feel blessed to have spent the day with the Lord.

Even though I had urges and temptations-God spoke to me today.

It’s only day 1.

But I’m coming back.

I’m coming back to You Lord.

Not only to be Your hands and feet.

But a strong and mighty warrior.

Will you do this?

Will you allow God to move?

Ask Him to speak to you.  Show you His heart.  His desire for His people.

Tonight.

Pray for that one person that God is placing on your heart.

That one person who would be forever changed by LOVE and FREEDOM.

Stand in the gap and contend for them tonight.

Fight for them to know God.

Fight the enemy who controls thier life.

Ask Jesus to set them free.

Holy Spirit.

Come.

Take us away from our selfishness, our problems and our narrowly focused ideals.  Open our hearts to feel your desires.

Hear our cry for our brothers and sisters and move in thier hearts.

We may have our own issues and needs but GOD, we know that you are all we need.

You are all they need, so come tonight and break in.

Oh we love You Abba, Father.

Thank You for Your mercy.

Thank You for Your Son.

In His name we pray.

Amen.

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