Mission: Wake up! “passive aggressive behavior plagues social media”

Posted by on Oct 19, 2009 in Mission: Get Inspired | 3 comments

ok…so this is where it is all coming from..

I have been studying passive aggressive behaviour for the last few weeks. I was doing a bible study at leadership and was looking at a worksheet designed to layout “symptoms” of spiritual and physical burnout.

There were many…
isolation in relationships..
tendency to manipulate..
people pleasing..
not focused..
passive/aggressive behavior
and so on…

And as I began to self analyze the types of things that I felt were influencing some effects of dysfunction both spiritually and physically…and I really was drawn to Pass/Agress dysfunction.

I noticed I wasn’t being as direct or assertive as I usually am. Basically turning into a people pleasing-head nodding-yes maam type of person.

Which is weird…because through my transformation in Christ I have found a confidence and assertiveness of truth and purpose. So, seeing this trait really made me stop and take a moment to reflect and research.

So to make a super long story into a kind of long bible study…the bottom of the problem of balance and burnout (spiritually, physically…etc) is focus and priority.

When you are rooted and passionately focused on true purpose, life never gets a chance to burn you out or knock you off balance. aka staying in total communion with de Lordddd…

It’s like walking on a tight rope…a gazillion miles in the air…you look down…you fall…you keep your focus on your walk and mission…you succeed.

Enough with visual interpretations…

So…as I reflected in myself and sought after resources and began to be very observational of PASS/AGRESS behavior…I began to see a trend.

And the trend was so easy to see on social media sites such as facebook…where people (like myself) put their heart and thoughts in 420 characters or less…

I wonder what the percent of positive to negative status updates are made on facebook…hmmm thats another blog..

I found…as in normal human interaction…people are finding a way to generalize, harm others feelings, talk about situations that should be done face2face and really make a passive aggressive sting at people they know are reading their updates. Before social media we just gave people the silent treatment or lied to them or gossiped behind each others back…

but with facebook…we get to gossip…with a textual platform…whooo

Why have we taken a tool, like social media, that is for relationship building…and relationship networking…and turn it into a scene to passively punch jabs at people?

As conniving, manipulating and terrible as it sounds…it is actually a epidemic of relatively good people displaying some bad habits…

and so you know…I’m no saint! I am totally guilty of doing this in my past life :)

So where does this all come from?
Where is this rooted?

Some say it is a personality trait:
So for those who compartmentalize personalities…you may want to believe that you are just a person who does not like “conflict” or “confrontation” which are both used to describe the act of being direct or assertive.


In psychology…they actually list these symptoms as a personality disorder. they say “Passive-aggessive personality disorder develops as a result of a combination of genetics and environment..”

or my idea…

I think it comes from a straight up issue with self worth and self confidence.

Let me tell you…I was a hot mess before I knew Jesus..I was an insecure, self-loathing, self-hating freak. You might as well have just called me debbie downer..

But the transformation in Jesus…and finding your eternal worth in Christ just changes who you are…and who you are to the world..

A confidence rises when you know you are loved and restored by your Saviour….

and as long as I continue to seek my relationship with Him… and actively participate in a loving give & take relationship…I am consistent in my feelings of worth and self-confidence.

So to wrap this novel up…
I assesed my behavior..

I saw that I was showing signs of things that were not Christ-like..aka passive-aggressive behavior..

So I checked my worth…looked the proverbial mirror..and sized up how I was feeling about myself.

I saw that I had let some thoughts of the world seep in..and a pity party emerging…

And it all stemmed back to the amount of time I was investing in my relationship with Christ…

So I did something about it and committed to beginning and ending my day with Him.

So I guess, I just wanted to help you too…

If you see signs that you are doing some passive aggressive stuff…leaving P/A facebook updates…not being direct with your spouse, friends or family…and you want to regain a sense of worth…and confidence..

just stop.

plain and simple.


It isn’t helping you…and its not helping your situation.

Be assertive, be confident…you are a Child of God.

If your motive is of love and truth…be honest, be direct…its the only you can make a change.

Ok…I’m done preaching! I hope this gives you insight as to why someone is behaving PA to you or give you insight to change your PA behavior…!

If you have questions of what it looks like to know and learn about transforming your self confidence and finding your worth in Christ…I would love to speak with you!

Facebook Twitter Linkedin Stumbleupon Email


  1. I enjoyed your blog very much and its all so true. We all get sidetracked at times but its nice to know Jesus will always be waiting for us when we return! I hope many people read this blog and stop and realize what they are saying on these social networks and how hurtful they can come across; that is the devil trying to stick his nose in for sure! God Bless You Missy!

  2. Yes! I love that He teaches us through our interactions with others. Its how we grow! I just love revelations!!!!

  3. Oh my how true my dear.. im so proud of you… you hit the nail on the head.. i sure hope i have not been guilty of this… i try to be positive always.. your Dad says i say the glass half empty .. when it should be half full!!! i do tend to be negative.. but i sure hope i have not been guilty of PA!!>.
    you are surly an inspiration to all and i hope this will be a lesson learned by people with this behavior! .. you are so full of wisdom and spiritual lessons.. i love you!!


  1. Project Management Training Examined - [...] passive aggressive behavior plagues social media | my name is … [...]